


Compunction

by ninashtia



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime), Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Manga), Sailor Moon - All Media Types
Genre: Drama, F/M, Post - stars season, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 08:24:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninashtia/pseuds/ninashtia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She knew that Minako wouldn't say anything if she found out. But she also knew how the blonde would judge her in her mind; her lips would curl into a disapproving scowl for the slightest of seconds, and Rei knew that would be all that would take to destroy her. She would not be able to handle it. So she kept it a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Compunction

“Do you ever think about them?” Minako asked without looking at her. It wasn’t the first time the blonde had asked that question and, Rei suspected, it wouldn’t be the last time either.

She handed Minako the cup full of steaming cinnamon tea, Minako’s favourite, and watched the blonde as she peered into its depth. “Sometimes,” she said while grabbing her own cup with both hands. Neither spoke as they watched the snowflakes dance with the wind.

“Me too,” Minako said offering her a sad smile. “He haunts my dreams, sometimes. Especially on days like these. Really makes me hate winter.”

Rei suppressed a chuckle. “It’s your fault for falling for the abominable snowman,” she said. The blonde scowled at the nickname but Rei knew she was inwardly laughing. After all, they all knew it was true.

Rei shivered unconsciously as the wind picked strength, forcing a shower of snowflakes into her raven hair. She closed her eyes as she heard the wind’s cry, felt its fury caressing her cheek and making her hair fly. She would hate to admit it but she kind of hated winter too.

She had, after all, fallen in love with summer.

“Do you think it is a weakness?” Minako said in a small voice, breaking Rei’s thoughts. The priestess turned to look at her friend for the first time in the encounter. Minako’s cheeks were flushed, whether because of the cold or shame, Rei couldn’t tell. Her cornflower blue eyes had unshed tears pooling in the corners and Rei’s heart ached at seeing them. She wanted nothing more than to reach over and wipe them away with a kiss, but she knew better. This was not just Minako asking a silly questions; this was Venus looking for reassurance. And no one wiped Venus’ unshed tears away.

Still, that didn’t make them fit her pretty face, Rei thought.

“No, it’s not a weakness.”

“But it was used against us... that last fight,” Minako said. Her eyes left Rei’s in favour of focusing on the contents of her cup. They both stared at the upcoming hot vapour, the smell of cinnamon tea and winter storm filling their nostrils.  Rei took a small sip of her own tea just for the sake of having something to do. Her hands were beginning to burn because of the heat of the cup. Unlike Minako, she wasn’t wearing gloves; but she found that she didn’t quite care. She was the senshi of fire after all.

“It would have happened anyway. Evil can be held at bay, not eradicated,” she whispered the words she had so often told herself; her own personal mantra, the explanation for all her failures. Beryl, Diamond, Galaxia... she felt her throat constrict at that name. Galaxia. It sent shivers down her spine, a mix of fear and remorse - shame.

“I know that I just...” Rei looked at her friend, but she didn’t continue her train of thought. The priestess knew what she was going through. They had had many defeats, many reasons to feel regretful, and humiliated, but for her leader the defeat at the hands of her lover was by far her worst. Rei sighed. She hated it when Minako brought these things up. She could never tell her the truth for fear of how the blonde would react. What if she knew that she, Rei, didn’t hold the fall of the Silver Millenniums as her worst mistake? That it was, in fact, a much more recent failure that kept her up at night drowning in contempt?

Minako would never understand. But then again, perhaps Rei couldn’t understand Minako either. It was their only dividing line.

“Usagi’s period is late,” Minako said after a pause. Rei felt her body tense ever so slightly; she slowly lifted her head up to stare at the blonde. Her blue eyes lacked the twinkle that they were famous for.  For once, they were dead serious.

“How long has it been?” she asked as soon as she regained her voice. Taking another sip of her quickly cooling tea, Rei tried to penetrate Minako’s mind while appearing momentarily aloof.

She knew she wasn’t fooling anybody.

“Just this one month, but still she _is_ twenty one now. And besides, Setsuna has gone missing. Haruka says she hasn’t seen her in three months.”

Rei nodded, trying to keep her hands from spilling the tea all over her robes. “The end is near.”

The other girl smiled back at her, but Rei knew she didn’t think her ominous words were stupid. They had known this day would come for years now. They had all been preparing to deal with it for years. And yet... “Does it scare you, Rei?”

 “It terrifies me.”

* * *

 

The room was cold compared to her praying quarters. The shrine wasn’t made to sustain weather like this. It hadn’t stopped snowing in Tokyo for a week and the white stuff was now reaching alarming proportions. At least for Rei’s standards.

Suppressing a shiver, she began removing her haori. The cold attacked her bare body almost immediately, but she ignored it and continued to undress. Her skin was covered in goose bumps by the time she had put on a pajama. It was way after midnight and Rei knew that Minako lay sleeping in the adjacent room. That is, if the blonde was able to fall asleep. Rei knew of the nightmares that plagued Minako, and she secretly pitied her. Not that she’d ever tell her that. But seeing that the blonde hadn’t come to Rei’s room to sleep in her bed yet, as was her custom on the days she slept over, she could conclude that she was asleep.

Either asleep or crying, Rei thought. Minako only came to sleep with her when her nightmares wouldn’t go away; when Kunzite would haunt her either with cold words or a loving sword. She never came when she cried herself to sleep. The warrior that was Venus’ had too much pride for that.  
Rei had yet to see her cry.

Moving towards her wardrobe, she slowly slid the doors open and began searching. At the bottom, beneath all the white dresses her father had given her (which she had never worn), she found the box she was adamant to find. She strained her ear in case she heard Minako getting up. She didn’t want to be exposed; not with _this_ box in her hands at least. This was her secret, the secret as to why Rei was able to sleep soundlessly every evening.

She knew that Minako wouldn’t say anything if she found out. But she also knew how the blonde would judge her in her mind; her lips would curl into a disapproving scowl for the slightest of seconds and Rei knew that would be all that would take to destroy her. She would not be able to handle it. So she kept it a secret.

She opened the box slowly, all the while keeping one ear alert to any sound. She stared at the contents for a few seconds, before removing an old fashioned walkman. Rei smiled at herself and began to search for a tape. There were at least a dozen of those, all labelled with the date they had been recorded in neat handwriting. She grabbed one at random, opened the walkman, and switched the tapes. Carefully, she put the other tape back into its proper case, closed the box, and hid back underneath the pile of useless white fabric.

Untangling the cords of the headphones as she walked towards the bed, Rei kept listening for hurried footsteps, but there was no sound other than the raging wind. She turned off the lamps in her room and was suddenly submerged in darkness. She could feel that tingling sensation that heralded excitement, adventure. She moved her toes inside her socks as she bit her lip. She liked this ritual, the slow crescendo of anticipation before the final submission to her own, sick pleasure.

The snow was falling more heavily now. There would be another good couple of inches on the floor in the morning, but at this moment, it didn’t matter. Ray took a deep breath, trying in vain to calm herself. She was being silly, in fact, she was being downright ridiculous but she didn’t care. She was Rei, the princess and warrior of Mars, always composed and always in control – except at night, except when she had the tapes in her hands, begging to be listened to.

Not being able to hold it in any longer, she brusquely threw the covers of the bed to one side as she made herself comfortable. She was giddy with the promise. Quickly now, she grabbed the headphones and put them on. She fought with the Walkman for a bit, for in her rashness and in the darkness, it was hard to find the correct buttons to press. She didn’t let the delay frustrate her – it only served to arouse her more. She found play and hit the button.

Relief and pleasure both washed over her immediately. She felt her body relax, only to have it be roused again by the sensual voice that spoke to her now. She allowed him to take her further into that place she had only ever known with him.

“Dear lost love,” the tape begun, “It’s been many years since we last saw each other, but you are never far from my heart...”

* * *

 

“Rei, you must come, right now!” Minako’s shrilly voice said over the communicator. Rei suppressed an un-lady like snort. She had just brewed a fresh cup of tea, bought a small strawberry shortcake cake, and had opened her favourite book. The afternoon was wet, cold, and dreary and she had hoped for some downtime while her flighty roommate was at work.  
Clearly Minako had better things to do than earn the money to pay rent.

“Rei are you even listening to me?”

“Of course I am, Minako,” she said nonchalantly taking a sip of tea, “with you shrieking like that it is a little hard _not_ to listen.”

Rei allowed herself a small smile. All she could see was Minako’s enraged baby blue eyes, but she could picture her entire petite body shaking with suppressed rage. It wasn’t every day Minako got infuriated. “I said come to Mamoru’s apartment now and I mean it Mars! And that’s an order!”

“Ooh, I guess it is serious since you’ve pulled rank,” she said taking a bite of the cake, making sure Minako saw her eat it, nice and slowly. It was the blonde’s fault that Rei now had a thing for sweets, after all. The least the fire priestess could do was rub it in the blonde’s pretty little face.

“It _is_ serious!” Minako said with pleading eyes. She never even noticed the cake. “ _They_ are back.”

The teacup fell from Rei’s hand, shattering on the floor. She had smeared her face with shortcake, and only the seriousness of the situation stopped Minako from giving her hell. Rei stared at her friend’s flustered face and red cheeks- her baby blue eyes were wide with anger and worry. She felt a chill ran over her body that had nothing to do with the snow storm raging outside. “They?”

“Yes.”

 “I’m on my way.” She closed the communicator and threw it in a nearby purse, the broken cup and half eaten cake all but forgotten. She didn’t care that she wasn’t dressed to face the weather, or that her grandfather would be concerned when he noticed the mess she left – she didn’t even bother to clean her face until she was out of the door. There wasn’t time to even find a proper jacket, hat, or mittens. And, or a moment, she almost forgot to put on boots, but her determination to make haste faltered when the wind howled hard enough to slap her in the face.

She still didn’t go back for the hat and mittens. Although she wiped her face clean with her sleeve.

Rei began running down the stairs of the Hikawa Shinja as fast as her legs would carry her. It seemed the wind wanted to wage war against her, make her slow down, reconsider; think. But Rei didn’t have time to think, there was only one thought in her mind and that was that she was going to get to Mamoru’s apartment whether the snowstorm waned or not.

She had to get there fast.

 The ground was threateningly covered with snow and ice, but that didn’t stop her. Nothing could stop her when she had her mind made up. Her legs run as fast as they could, which, in this weather, was just a little bit alarming to all those who saw the raven beauty. She reached Mamoru’s apartment in record time.

Makoto was standing in front of an open elevator, switching her weight from leg to leg and muttering to herself. Rei’s lungs hurt from the sharp cold air, and she knew that if she hesitated for the smallest second, her legs would give up on her and so would her fierce determination.

 “Rei-chan!” Makoto said, causing her echo to hurt Rei’s ears. She winced. “You scared me.”

Ray took the brunette’s appearance. Makoto looked like someone had put her in a blender and turned the power on. Her usually graceful unruly ponytail was down to the side and it looked like, she, too, hadn’t bothered with proper clothes. She only wore her apron on top of a very dirty green turtleneck. Quickly patting her own mane of raven hair, she figured that she probably didn’t look much better either. “I am sorry, Mako-chan. I didn’t mean to.”

“So… you’ve heard?” Rei only nodded. Makoto took a deep breath in, and with a nervous smile motioned for Rei to enter the elevator first. The priestess smiled smugly to herself. Of course, of all things to frighten the senshi of thunder, it would be a _boy_.

The journey upwards to the twentieth floor took an eternity. Neither of them talked. Ray was having a hard time calming her rapidly beating heart, which seemed to want to commit a lifetime worth of work before reaching their destination. Makoto kept muttering to herself, looking around her like a panic-stricken child. Both of them jumped when the small chiming bell announced they had reached their floor. Rei whispered a small prayer – let Minako be mistaken as they left the elevator and made their silent way towards the apartment.

She had only been here once, so she wondered if she would be able to find the correct apartment again. Fortunately, Minako’s screams could be heard from the other side of the hall.

The door was left open a crack through which they could hear a whole range of screams worthy of an Opera soprano. Rei winced at the sound – and a part of her dreaded what her leader was up to more than she dreaded what she would find inside. Only Minako’s inherent stupidity could scare her more than _him_. Of course, when they opened the door, they found a situation which could only be described as hilarious if it wasn’t for the fact that Minako hadn’t been lying.

They were back alright.

Zoicite was down on a knee reciting what Rei believed were love poems of a Shakespearean time to a blushing Ami by the window. Usagi was busy eating three entire bags of Pringles at once, while Minako chased Kunzite around the house, trying to hit him with a lamp. Mamoru was chasing Minako, saying something about that lamp being his favourite.

Only two people looked normal in this very bizarre situation. They were sitting next to Usagi, laughing at Minako’s enraged pursuit of the white-haired man. Rei didn’t know what scared her more: the moment that his cornflower eyes, so similar to Minako’s, found hers or the fact that this situation seemed welcomingly normal. At once, Nephrite sprung from chair with enough force to make it fall backwards. Rei barely registered Mamoru’s wail at his brown-haired general to mind the furniture.

She did notice that they weren’t dressed in their grey suits. They were wearing normal clothes and appropriate to the current season.  Rei felt Makoto tense the moment Nephrite was in front of her, lovingly taking her hand and leading her towards the back of the room where they would be where they could be safe from Minako’s antics.

That left only one figure seating which irritated Rei like no tomorrow. A thousand years had passed, an entire lifetime she had waited,, dreamed, dreaded, and he couldn’t even stand up to greet her? Jadeite was leaning forward, resting an arm on his leg and staring at her, a small grin adorning his handsome features. How she hated that damned grin. But his eyes, his eyes had lost nothing of their deepness, of their entrancing blue color and that abhorrent ability to see right into her core. She answered his gaze with one of her own, and they held this little staring contest for what seemed like forever. Only Minako or Kunzite’s running form ever broke their eye contest.

Suddenly, Jadeite got up and began walking towards her. Only then did she realize she was still standing by the door. One had to wonder what the neighbours must be thinking.

“Pyro…” he whispered as he moved forward, ducking a book Minako had thrown as if it was second nature. “Mars…”

Rei opened my mouth to speak, to yell at him for betraying her, for killing her, for trying to do it all over again and then deciding to change his allegiances (again) but nothing came, not a single sound. He was mere inches away from her, and he still smelled the same way he had in the Silver Millennium; a masculine smell that defied all sorts of colognes. She felt her lower lip quiver, as a new round of goose bumps covered her body.

My jadeite.

This can’t be, she thought. He wasn’t supposed to come back. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“Pyro,” his hand reached forward, but she ducked it in time. His expression looked resigned more than hurt; she knew that he must’ve seen this coming. He must know that she wouldn’t make it easy, she couldn’t make it easy. It _wasn’t_ easy.

She looked at him one more time, thinking to herself this must surely be the last time, before she turned around and ran. Not bothering with the insanely slow elevator, she took to the stairs. Tears clouded her vision, but her sense guided her. Rei ran and ran, not caring where she was or where she ended up. She avoided cars and buses, cyclist and pedestrians as she ran away from her nightmare turned reality. If she didn’t accept it, if she didn’t stop, then maybe it wasn’t real. If she kept running, surely she would be able to make it all disappear. Make it all go back to the suffering it was before. Because that suffering had a cure, it wasn’t threatening but comforting.

Rei had never been good at accepting change and, as she run, she didn’t think why now would be a good time to start.

When her body finally gave in to exhaustion, she was in the middle of nowhere. The snow had picked up its pace and was now dancing mercilessly around her –some sick, cold ballet. She dropped to the frozen ground, holding her chest tight as she rapidly  heaved in oxygen. Her breaths came out in white puffs, and she could feel her tears slowly joining the ice below her.

She sat down on the snow covered ground, still breathing heavily. Her hands and lips were blue, her mind seemed delirious. She briefly thought of the possibility of getting frost bitten. She then laughed out loud at the thought of the senshi of fire dying of hypothermia. She thought about transforming, her body would handle the cold easier that way, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. If nothing, her uniform would surely remind her of him, of his petty little comments about her skirt getting shorter each time she saw him. He would then attack the heels. He didn’t understand the use of the heels, he thought they were nothing but a death trap in the waiting (and she had to agree, he might just be right on that one).

A small chuckle escaped her lips. Her stilettos were her definition, an embodiment of her arrogance and confidence. She had never felt small until she had met _him_. Makoto or Haruka could tower over her all they liked, but they weren’t intimidating. They didn’t make her feel miniscule, rounding on insignificant. Makoto and Minako had loved that the generals were all a good head taller than them (a good couple of inches in Makoto’s case, anyway) but Rei had hated it.

And of course, Jadeite’s first words to her had been a nasty comment on her stature.

 “This is one of the legendary Sailor Soldiers?” he had said in that smug voice of his, daring to put a hand on her head, “she sure is short.”

Stiletto or no stiletto, Jadeite claimed he would never be able to have children after that first encounter.

She looked up to the dying sun, trying in vain to suppress a sob. Or was it a laugh? She never knew with him. He made her cry, and he made her yell (especially yell), and he made her laugh and he made her love.

She needed to figure out what it all meant.

“Do you still love him?” Minako’s voice came back to her, taking her back to a conversation just after they had defeated Galaxia. There was never a need to specify who they were talking about. Pronouns had been just as efficient. They had never said their names out loud to each other.

“No. I don’t.”

“Why not?”

“He betrayed me, Minako. Betrayal can’t be forgiven.”  
“Sometimes I wonder if they were truly responsible for their deeds.”

Rei snapped at her, truly she must have gone insane at last. “How can you doubt that Minako? You were there the day the Moon Kingdom fell into their hands! When Kunzite tore your chest with his sword.”

Minako’s cold, calm look silenced her. At moments like that, she understood why the blonde was the chosen leader. “Then we should be burned at the stake too, Rei-chan. We _did_ try to kill our own princess only a few months ago, remember?”

Rei shook my head, not wanting to hear it. She knew she could only keep the truth at bay if she ignored it. “It wasn’t our fault, Minako. It was Galaxia’s, she took control of us. We would never betray Usagi.”

Minako closed her eyes for a moment before replying, “what if Metalia poisoned their minds too, Rei-chan, like Galaxia poisoned ours?”

Life has way too many unanswered ‘what ifs’ for the princess of Mars’ liking.

* * *

 

The first call came but a few hours later. It was Usagi, of course, and she sounded worried. She begged Rei to call her back. The second call came within an hour of the first, again Usagi imploring Rei to call her back. She was upset, she had said, and she wanted to know that Rei was fine. Rei didn’t answer either call. The calls stopped sometime around midnight; Rei assumed it was because the Moon princess wanted some precious sleep.

That made her smile.

The next morning, Makoto’s voice woke her up. She said that Usagi was going crazy without news, and to please call back. Of course, Usagi called within fifteen minutes and by late afternoon they had coaxed Ami into calling. The genius girl, of course, sounded exasperated at her friends, and told Rei that if she needed someone coherent to talk to, all she had to do was call. Usagi called some five minutes later, telling Rei that she’d be fired from the scout team if she didn’t call. Luna called soon after to apologize for Usagi’s lack of sensitivity and sanity. Rei could take all the time she wanted, the black cat had assured her. Which, in Usagi’s mind, it meant another half an hour.

 By the end of the third day, her answering machine had run out of space in which to record the concerned messages of her friends. That didn’t stop them.

 It was almost a week, however, before Minako called. She yelled to call back in her best ‘I am your leader, and you must do what I say tone’ before changing strategies (within the same call) and began pretending that she was being attacked by a youma. Rei could only laugh. It was good to know that, no matter what happened, Minako would never be sane.

When she did call, it wasn’t to her over-protective, cry baby princess; or her only two conscientious friends, not even her retarded leader or their trusted advisors. She called Mamoru.

Thankfully, the Earth prince had picked up. Rei had been secretly afraid another male voice may answer. Her message was simple and clean, and Mamoru didn’t take too long to have it delivered.

She waited at the front steps of the Hikawa Shrine.

“I received your message, those tele-pole things are quite the invention.”  
“It’s called telephone, Jadeite,” she without looking up. Her knuckled were white from gripping the shovel in her hands. She had tried to shovel some snow while she waited. Work was therapeutic, but it wasn’t helping this time. His chuckle made her look up, her eyes flaring in anger at being laughed at .The sun was shining right from behind him, making only his silhouette visible. She took in a breath, trying to settle her thoughts; even after a thousand years he was the only man who could leave her breathless.

“Of course, a tele-pole,” he smirked as he sat down on the steps of the shrine. Rei briefly wondered if he was immune to the cold, but decided not to ask. Bracing herself, she sat down next to him.

“You really don’t know what a telephone is?”

“Of course I do,” he said with a cheeky smile. Rei glared at him, but he ignored her. His attention was focused on the sunset, leaving Rei enough time to explore his profile. “We’ve been alive for a couple of years now. It just took us some time, you know, to find each other, to find the prince.”

Rei nodded. “When did it happen?”  
Jadeite laughed softly, “I don’t remember. Three or four years ago. I was sleeping in my bed and suddenly I woke up with this feeling that I wasn’t who I was. And then the nightmares begun – Beryl, the Silver Millennium, the last time I died... you.”

Rei closed her eyes to keep tears from forming – she knew all too well when Jadeite had last died. He wasn’t looking at her; his attention was focused on his hands. When she opened her eyes, she looked at the man in front of her as she never had before. It was the same childlike face, but something about him seemed broken. And Rei couldn’t fathom seeing someone so strong looking so defeated.

“It was Usagi’s wish, wasn’t it?” she asked more for the sake of breaking the silence than of getting an answer. She knew what had happened; her week of isolation had given her plenty of time in which to figure things out. When Usagi chose to live as what they were and to live together, it meant _all_ of them. It caused those who were missing, who were sleeping in the cordon waiting for their new life to restart, to awake. Somehow, Rei thought a little amused, it all always came back to Usagi’s strength of heart.

“I can’t forget what happened, Jadeite, no matter how many millennia go by. I simply can’t,” her voice was a mere whisper. He shifted his body closer to her, putting an arm around her shoulders. Rei hadn’t even realized she was shaking.

“I know, Pyro. I’ve always known that. I can’t forget what happened either,”Jjadeite tilted his head upwards to the sky, whether he narrowed his eyes in concentration or because the sun was blinding him, Rei didn’t know.

“Do you remember?” she asked suddenly, facing Jadeite’s deep blue eyes. Her breath caught in her throat for a second, but years of masking her emotions kept from showing her apprehension. “When you were…”

“Your enemy?” he finished for her and smiled as her cheeks reddened ever so slightly. “I don’t. The last thing I can remember was arguing with Endymion. We were telling him that we were tired of being subjugated by the moon,” he said. A small, sad smile appeared on his lips. “I supposed Beryl already had us under her control by then.”

“When I woke up,” he continued, “I was a stone –mind you, a very good looking stone at that,” Rei had a hard time suppressing her own little sad chuckle, “Kunzite briefed us on what had happened. I had… a faded recollection of being human once, of having tasted this new millennium. I think, we may have been reborn too. Maybe we had a life, friends, and family before Beryl called us back to play her little minions. But if that ever happened, that life is long gone. I can’t even remember where I was sleeping when the dreams begun or who I was. I am only Jadeite now.”

Just like I’ll only be Mars, soon. She thought.

They both fell to silence, too engrossed in their own thoughts. Re dared to glance back at the man who was so calm looking towards the horizon. His profile looked just the same, she thought, strong jaw, proud nose and incredibly uncontrolled blond curls. He had always been a jerk, she acknowledged, but he was the only one who could understand and share her need for silence. He too could communicate without the need of words.

“Is it true that you killed me in this life?” he said, refusing to meet her gaze.

Rei stared forward, daring him to look into her eyes. “Yes, I did.”

He nodded, his head still looking at some other spot rather than her beautiful face.  “I thought as much. You of all people would never have allowed me to get away with treason,” he tried to smirk at her when he finally looked at her, but failed. Not even Jadeite could joke about something like that.

“You killed me on the moon,” was all Rei said.

“Well, I guess that explains the blood thirst, Pyro.”

“It’s Rei, actually. And for the record, I didn’t remember you when it happened. The day I killed you.”

He sighed and pushed a stray raven hair behind her ear, “it’s just as well, Rei,” he said, tentatively playing with her name. It rolled well out of his tongue, he thought; Rei. “I wish I could remember what happened that day, on the moon.”

Rei shook her head and his arms fell away from her shoulders. He looked at her, his eyes already too filled with pain to suffer more. “How can you say that?” she spat angrily. “How can you wish to remember killing _me_?”

“Because, if I remember, I will be able to stop myself from being played like that again. I can stop myself from hurting you again.”

“But you can’t, Jadeite. You can’t,” tears were threatening to come out of her eyes, but she held them in. She had cried enough in her life. When she spoke, her voice was lower than a whisper, her shame overwhelmed her.  “If chaos wants to, she’ll take control of us again. I almost killed my princess.”

Surprise was etched on his features. The woman before him, the woman he loved, so strong, so fierce, so loyal…. Understanding soon replaced bewilderment, as he put his arm around her shaking shoulders. “So we are both traitors,” he said planting a small kiss on top of her head. He felt her nod in agreement, a quiet sob escaping her dry throat. “It wasn’t your fault, Pyro.”

“How can you be so sure?”  
“I just am. You could never betray Serenity,” she snorted at the irony. “Me, I was weak. Much too weak.”  
“So was I.”

“You can never be weak, Pyro.”

“And neither can you,” she stood up, once more removing herself from his careful embrace. She stood her ground as she stared at him. Minako’s words haunted her –she wanted to believe them. She needed to believe them. “Metalia took your heart; she had a very powerful grip on you.” He nodded as he too stood up. Without hesitation, for Jadeite never thought before acting, he placed a hand on her tear-soiled cheek and caressed it with his thumb. She closed her eyes momentarily as she gave in to the touch. When she locked eyes with him again, she noticed that they were full of sorrows, whether still dwelling on the past or present she would never know.

 “I know now why you fell to her Jadeite,” she put a finger on his soft, moist lips when he tried to speak; “It was because of me. You loved me too much; she tricked you through me. It was my image she used to change your allegiances; I was the only thing that could ever compete with your loyalty towards Endymion. ”  
His head hung low, his eyes avoiding hers. “We should have never fallen in love, Pyro.”

“You are right, it is a mistake.”

“A weakness.”

“These are the reasons why it is forbidden, as a soldier, to love.”

“But what would life be if rules were always obeyed?” He didn’t give her time to answer. His lips were on hers within a second, and she gladly allowed him in. Her hands wound around his neck pulling him closer and closer, this time he was not going to let go. He grabbed her waist and pulled her towards him, kissing her with the desire that had waited one thousand years.

He was hers, she thought. And she would consume him, and he would consume her. They were in love despite all reasoning, despite all duty. Two flames that fed from each other, and fed each other.

He broke the kiss unexpectedly, and she whined in protest. “Glad to see you still lust after me Pyro,” he said with a cocky grin.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Jadeite,” she replied with as much venom as she could muster. “I just haven’t gotten any in a thousand years, you just happen to be the first to cross my path.” He laughed and she rejoiced in the sound of it, before he began tearing at her lips again. His smile turned to a scowl when Rei unexpectedly broke the kiss. “Why was Minako chasing Kunzite with a lamp?”

Jadeite looked at her puzzled before bursting out laughing. Rei had to punch him – hard- to get him to answer. “He said something about Minako being much fatter than the Venus he remembered.”

Rei shook her head in laughter at her friend’s silliness. She briefly wondered what Minako would say (or do) if she knew that Rei was currently in Jadeite’s arms, and enjoying every minute of it. But she decided she didn’t care. She knew Usagi would be thrilled to hear about this, whenever Rei decided to call her back. Her princess would never begrudge her happiness. And that was the reason why Rei knew that, no matter what, she would always be loyal to her princess and her duty.

She was the senshi of fire and passion – and love and friendship were her strength.

Of course, the fact that she would never have to fall asleep to a cassette was a very welcomed bonus.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Reviews/constructive criticisms/kudos most welcome :)


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